“I know how you feel”

I am nearly 38 weeks pregnant. My husband has some sort of stomach flu. He said to me, in nonchalant solidarity, “I can’t believe you felt like this for months and maintained any shred of sanity.”

The truth? I didn’t.
Yes, I wasn’t able to keep anything more than a handful of crackers down for my entire first trimester-sometimes not even that. I lost seven pounds. However, I did not feel how my husband felt.

It was more than barfing every hour or so. There was round ligament pain from an expanding womb. There were dizzy spells, headaches, and fainting coupled with the emotional roller coaster of a body that didn’t know what to do with all the extra hormones.

What’s more, every twitch of pain I felt, convinced me that something was terribly wrong. I had lost too many pregnancies in the past, and I was overcome with a profound sense of fear. I wept for the disaster that I waited for with certainty.

No- I didn’t feel how he felt now. He’s nauseous and a little uncomfortable, but he is able to sleep. His mind is not racing a million laps filled with self doubt and worry. He is not laying in bed wondering if he’s doing everything exactly right to protect a life that he cannot see or feel yet.

No…the stomach flu is not quite the same. If you’re a mom, you know.


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